I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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