I'm going to jail i love you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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