Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize