i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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