We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
