It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
