there's paper in my vomit.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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