3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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