Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
