im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
