No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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