i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
