white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize