4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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