Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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