The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
