either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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