it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
