Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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