A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Randomize
