and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
