I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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