what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize