Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
