No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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