I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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