i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
