yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
