if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
