I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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