I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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