worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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