Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
