Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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