I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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