I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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