First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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