Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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