why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
