At least make sure they are 18
Why
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize