Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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