Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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