and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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