Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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