Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
