I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
