he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
