what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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