the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
