Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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