physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
