My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize