Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
