sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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