U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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