i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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