I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
