I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
