he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
