I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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