they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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