so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
