i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
