He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
